


soldier boy's weakness

by joshriku



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Humor, Fluff without Plot, Just for Laughs, M/M, No Spoilers, One-Sided Relationship, POV Outsider, cloud is just..he's a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24193738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshriku/pseuds/joshriku
Summary: > ex-soldier> about 5'5 but i don't let it get to me> meet 6'5 eco-terrorist guy in a mission> we have to do a bunch of missions now that everything is ok> i trip and fall> "don't be such a silly little merc"> instant fucking crushfuckfuckfuck please don't be gay what does this mean(Or, just, Cloud has a crush on Barret. Tifa is amused by it.)
Relationships: Cloud Strife/Barret Wallace, Tifa Lockhart & Cloud Strife
Comments: 24
Kudos: 225





	soldier boy's weakness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [solidarity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/solidarity/gifts).



It’s not a rare occasion anymore for Tifa to have all of her friends over at the bar. As much as it is normal, it’s still a privilege to see Cloud and Barret sitting across her, and it’s a sight she won’t take for granted. Mixing their favorite drinks, she takes a peek at the rest of the bar, where the rest of AVALANCHE is deeply entertained with each other, so okay, she can pay attention to these two customers first. 

Barret takes off his glasses and exhales. “Another long day in the bag. Tifa, Soldier boy here—one of a kind!” 

Tifa smiles at that, handing them their drinks: by this point, they don’t need to ask. Tifa knows what to serve. Still, catching on the genuine compliment at Cloud, she can’t help the proud swelling in her chest—it was a long time before they actually got along this well. 

“Oh, really?” Tifa says, glancing at Cloud, who’s trying his best to look bored. He’s staring directly at the bottles behind her. “What did he do?” 

“He’s got a _real_ knack for people, lemme tell ya. The cool façade has everyone trippin’ over their feets!” Barret laughs, loud and cheerful, before taking a big swig. “It’s like he’s a natural charmer, ya know?” 

“Mm, I hear you. People really like bad boys these days,” Tifa says, taking another look at Cloud. Cloud is looking at her, his eyes screaming the most basic form of **_help,_** and Tifa stops momentarily, confused. Cloud is still making a point at staring at the bottles, so, maybe he feels a little left out in the conversation…? Even though it _is_ about him. “What do you think, Cloud?” 

“Not interested,” he says, and Tifa has come to learn that it’s almost his catchphrase, or, his ‘I don’t really know what to say’ phrase. 

“That one! That one _always_ does the trick,” Barret grins, patting him on his back, to which Cloud takes a sharp inhale. _Still_ not looking at Barret. “He’s crazy, got everyone shaking on their boots.” 

“It’s not like that,” Cloud counters at last, turning his head to face Barret, only to immediately turn away again. What is _up_ with him? 

“Didn’ take you to be a humble one.” 

“Am not. Just—no one’s crazy for me. That’s all.” 

“You hearing him? You a lightweight, merc? Little lightweight merc?” 

“Ah—no!” 

Tifa chuckles, watching Cloud’s cool façade drop right before her very eyes once more. It’s always an amusing sight, and really, the only reason they let him keep it up is because it seems like it helps his ego. Barret gets up momentarily, hearing his name being called by Biggs, and Cloud visibly relaxes. 

Tifa frowns. “What’s up with you?” 

“Nothing,” Cloud responds, too quick to be casual. 

Tifa frowns but doesn’t immediately press him. Pressing Cloud is like pressing a cat into giving you attention: you scare him off or he gets too startled. It’s funny dealing with him, but definitely, she’s glad to have picked up on his mannerisms. Cloud turns around to watch the chaos unfold behind his back; Jessie and Aerith too engrossed on a competition of who chugs down faster between them and Barret. 

It’s like watching a train-wreck. Her eyes flicker from Jessie to Barret to finally landing on Aerith, when she hears Cloud chuckling to himself. He’s looking at Barret in the meantime, so Tifa decides to comment, “Entertaining, isn’t it?” 

“I should’ve known this would happen when Aerith befriended them,” Cloud replies, still not turning around. It’s good when he lets down his guard with Tifa—it’s nice to just talk to him. “I am not carrying any drunk people on my back. Fair warning.” 

“I’ll let them sleep on the floor tonight,” Tifa assures him. To no one’s surprise, Aerith wins, and Barret makes a big act of throwing the jar away—only to catch it at the last second. Good. Tifa would make him pay for it, anyway. 

Barret turns back around, grins at Cloud, and Cloud immediately turns back on his stool. Is he… red…? Tifa’s engines work extremely quickly, and she finally concludes like she reached the world’s biggest epiphany: “You have something up with Barret!” 

“What? No! Get real!” Cloud talks back, fast, as Barret approaches them again. “Not a _word.”_

So he went from denying it to begging to not talk about it. Cloud was a real character sometimes. He blinks at Barret once, turning his attention to Tifa, and really: it’s hurting her brain to not figure out what’s wrong. There’s a bit of a stretch happening here, just the way Cloud avoids staring at Barret directly and Barret isn’t even wearing his glasses— 

_Oh._

Tifa smiles wickedly once she catches on. “Hey, Barret, do your glasses ever get uncomfortable?” 

Cloud almost squeaks on his drink. Bingo, huh? 

“Nah. Got used to ‘em. If I didn’t have ‘em, well, I’d be kissing my eyes goodbye.” Barret grins at her. “These two beauties need to stay good and healthy.” 

Tifa laughs. “I agree. You got very kind eyes. What do you think, Cloud?” 

He looks at her like any best friend would look at you: with murderous intent after blatantly exposing something about them. Cloud does his best shrug and takes another sip of his drink. “They’re not impressive.” 

_“Huh?_ What did you say?” Barret turns his body to him, and then lightly slams the table. “Merc, look at me. Look at my eyes.” 

Tifa and Cloud maintain eye contact for a second, her smiling at him, while he finally turns around to look at Barret. He visibly holds his breath for a second. Holy _shit._

“I’m looking.” 

“What do you see?” 

“A pair of eyes.” 

“Nah.” Barret pokes Cloud’s chest, and Cloud holds his breath again. “Look deeper. You’ll see—nothin’ but pure honesty.” 

“Don’t you think Cloud’s eyes are pretty, too?” Tifa asks, only to add fuel to the fire. 

“Yeah. Baby-blue eyes.” 

“They’re—they’re just blue,” Cloud defends pathetically. He looks like he wants the ground to open up and swallow them. “I have to use the bathroom.” 

Tifa holds back her laughter as he watches him go. 

* * *

“So, is this like a real crush you have, or…” 

“Not a crush,” Cloud cuts in. “It’s nothing.” 

He’s holding way too many water pipes for Tifa to get a look at his expression. 

“Well, I wouldn’t normally pry, but you do jump like a scaredy-cat every time we talk about this, so,” Tifa stops walking and so does Cloud. “I’m assuming you want to say more than you think.” 

“He’s got nice eyes,” Cloud says, like he’s reading off a shopping list. “Listen, it’s not as deep as you think. Can’t I just appreciate guys?” 

“Oh, um… of course you can,” Tifa says. “What’s… like, your type? Barret?” 

Cloud stops momentarily. “Just… guys who are taller than me.” 

“I see,” Tifa continues. “So no girls…?” 

“Girls who are stronger than me.” 

“I’m seeing a trend.” Tifa laughs. “Fine, okay. You sure you don’t need a wingman?” 

“Nope.” 

“I’ve heard I’m pretty good at being a wingman.” 

“Good for you.” 

“Hey, there’s Barret,” Tifa says, now to annoy him. Cloud immediately whips around. “Oh my god. You really fell for it.” 

Cloud doesn’t even reply as he walks away. 

“Cloud! Wait up! Come back!” 

* * *

“Hey, Tifa,” Barret greets, walking in with Cloud by his side. For someone with such a funny reaction to him, Cloud did spend most of his working time with him. “Got any drinks for us?” 

“On it!” 

Cloud takes a seat in front of her. He looks completely hopeless. 

“Cloud?” Tifa pauses while making his drink. “You good?” 

“Tifa,” he says, serious, “You know when guys slap each other’s butts when they do a good job?” 

“Yeah. Biggs and Wedge do that all the time.” She stops abruptly. “Wait! Did Barret…?” 

Cloud nods. 

“Are you still thinking about it?” 

He does it again. 

“Oh, Cloud,” Tifa shakes her head, “you absolute disaster.” 

Barret chooses that moment to come back, patting Cloud on the back, successfully killing him and his emotions in one shot. This show is _too_ entertaining for Tifa, really, it’s like having front-row tickets to a circus. 

It’s even funnier when Barret takes off his sunglasses again and Cloud begins the game of ‘what background in Tifa’s bar can he stare at as long as he doesn’t make eye contact with Barret?’ which has quickly become a favorite of Tifa’s. He probably has memorized every whiskey’s year by now. 

“Y’know, you look distracted sometimes, merc,” Barret says, seriously. “Anything on your mind lately?” 

“Nothing.” Cloud replies immediately. Tifa tries so hard to not laugh, she really does. “Nothing’s on my mind.” 

“I don’t believe you. After everythin’ we been through—least you can do is trust me to try to help you, alright?” 

“Knock it off, it’s fine,” Ah, he’s getting flustered by Barret being nice? Cloud is so bare minimum. “Haven’t slept.” 

Barret nods. “Alright. Hopefully this will knock you out, right?” Chuckling, he continues, “You’re good, okay. Take care of yourself.” 

Cloud looks like he’s going to explode. It’s honestly funny that Barret doesn’t realize. He gets up to greet more people when they enter the bar, and Cloud exhales loudly once he does. 

“You sure you don’t want a wingman?” 

“Yep. Sure. It’ll go away.” 

“Will it?” Tifa grins, “You know those pretty eyes stay there forever.” 

Cloud doesn’t reply. 

“It’s really funny to watch, though, so I’ll just make your life more miserable from now on.” 

“I thought we were friends.” 

“We are. This is what friends are for.” 

He looks at her with very dead eyes. It’s _hilarious._

She hopes the crush goes on for a while—it’s simply too fun to witness. She catches Cloud turning back to look at Barret talking to another customer and grins to herself. 

She’s going to keep having so much fun like this. 

**Author's Note:**

> i really just think the "don't be such a silly little boy" post is so fucking funny. i also think barret has the prettiest eyes known to mankind and i'd trip and fall over my own feet for him.
> 
> i hope it's not too early to give birthday presents to you jun :>
> 
> thanks for reading ^^
> 
> [tumblr](http://joshrikus.tumblr.com/)  
> [twitter](http://twitter.com/joshriku/)  
> 


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